You’re not going to want to miss this!

See what I did there?

Summer is the season of FOMO here in Vermont.

When I was growing up in in suburban New Hampshire,  I had only two major events that I was looking forward to: the Deerfield Fair and something called Old Homes Day.

Now, as an adult with a young family in the suburbs of Burlington, Vermont, it seems like on any given weekend there are three epic event opportunities that conflict with each other.  Since cloning ourselves isn’t an option, we need to choose one event to attend and feel the sting of not experiencing the other two.  

“Missing Out” – The expectation that you’re going to not be a part of something possibly amazing, memorable… perhaps an experience with people who are maybe fun or life-giving.

It’s bad enough that any given day comes with the menu of exciting experiences: concerts, game nights, reading groups, mountain biking, road trips, corn roasts…on any given moment we also have instant access to social media, instant messaging and precisely curated video contents optimized for our handheld rectangles.  Media outlets have many of us convinced that we need to stay informed multiple times a day with the news cycle or we will miss something important… usually something meant to stir within us a salient sense of outrage, fear and disgust.  There is so much to do and see in our communities and even in the palm of our hand.

There are good reasons for not wanting to miss out.  Nobody wants to miss an important detail about events in our community or our country. No one wants to find out the next day: “the event you turned down order to do something else?  Legendary.” We want to maximize our limited lives.

That said, the effects of FOMO cannot be denied.  Here are a few ways that preoccupation on “what we’re missing” can be a drag on our lives:

• Anxiety and Stress: Constantly feeling like you’re missing out on something can lead to increased anxiety and stress levels. This can manifest as racing thoughts, difficulty concentrating, and physical symptoms like increased heart rate or tension headaches.  Our opportunity-filled environments can also give us the sense that we are entitled to be stimulated or entertained every waking moment.
• Depression & Lower Self Esteem: Chronic feelings of inadequacy or exclusion can contribute to depression. Comparing your own life to the seemingly perfect lives of others on social media or in real life can exacerbate feelings of worthlessness or sadness.
• Poor Decision Making: Making decisions based on FOMO rather than personal values or goals can lead to regrettable choices. This might include overspending, overcommitting, or engaging in risky behaviors in order to avoid missing out.
• Relationship Strain: FOMO can strain relationships when individuals prioritize social events or activities over spending quality time with loved ones. This can lead to feelings of neglect or resentment from those close to you.  A preoccupation with “other places you could be” also taxes our presence and attunement with others.
• Reduced Productivity: Frequently checking social media or attending events out of fear of missing out can detract from productivity and focus. This can impact work or academic performance and make it difficult to achieve personal or professional goals.
• Sleep Disturbances: FOMO can disrupt sleep patterns as individuals may stay up late scrolling through social media or attending events in order to avoid missing out on anything. This can lead to fatigue, irritability, and difficulty concentrating during the day.

Worrying about missing out is a really understandable fear that is part of the human experience.  We are limited beings. We can’t possibly experience all that there is to experience in life – especially in a single day.  What can be done about it?

Start by considering these practices to fight FOMO: