“I don’t know – I’m just really down.  It happens this time of year” my friend said.

“Well…” I looked outside the big restaurant window next to us at the driving snow and grey clouds blanketing the sky.  “I would be a little concerned if you told me you didn’t get at least a little down this time of year.”

My friend seemed shocked, “what do you mean?  I’m supposed to be depressed?”

“Listen,” I said, “I am just saying that those clouds haven’t moved for two weeks, we’re getting 9 hours of daylight a day and your body is shivering on the drive to work.  That’s a bummer, and I don’t think it’s out-of-line to feel down right now.”

If he hadn’t just eaten a giant plate of pasta I think he would have floated away in that moment.  You could see a burden lift off of him.  “Man…I hadn’t thought about how much sense that makes.  You saying that makes me feel a lot less upset about how I’ve been feeling.”

I think a couple important things were happening during our pasta chat:  First, my friend was sharing.  He had clearly felt alone with those feelings of sadness.  Giving those big feelings some room to breathe between us gave him an opportunity to be better known by me – and accepted.  It also made me feel like I was sitting with a human being!  Sadness is an aspect of life to which everyone can relate.  Of course, as a half-way decent friend, I empathized with his feelings before offering my take.  But his taking the risk to share gave him an opportunity to both shed the weight and hear a different story.

That story of having a seasonally depressed affect is incredibly common here where I am writing this – the Northeast.  Here are some factors contributing to the onslaught:

• Shorter Days: (Sunlight)
• Colder Weather (Movement, weight gain)
• Holidays
• Other:  Sickness, physical pain

While depression can be a difficult to shake, there are steps we can take to play an active role to at least reduce it.

• Movement.  We’re talking any kind of movement, here.  If you’re feeling like not leaving, then walk around/up and down stairs in your jammies.  If you want to get outside or go to the gym, do yourself a favor and put your clothes out the day before.  Extra points for getting outside for Vitamin B and serotonin from sunlight.
• Be like my friend – share your burden with someone.
• Use the calendar to make appointments with friends (pasta, anyone?).
• Fist pumps:  (Huh?)  If you do any of these things, make sure you pump your fist, or nod your head, or pat yourself on the back.  You’re fighting depression – even if by small degrees.  Say, “I just did that.”
• Be gentle with yourself.  There’s no shame in feeling down.  Reach-out for connection with safe friends so you can be affirmed and keep perspective.

Lastly, counseling with the right therapist (even a few sessions) can be really helpful.  Being heard and understood by a trained professional can bring a lot of relief…sometimes quickly.  Aside from listening deeply, counselors are able to provide insight, skills and suggestions that are tailor-made to help lift some of the heaviness of depression.

Until warmer, brighter months (which are coming!)…

Take good care,

Jon Ayers MA, LCMHC

Flourish Counseling